The "Other" Blog

In an effort to separate my ramblings from the stories of the antcis of my two sons, I have revived the "other" blog. It's my attempt to be funny, and my repository for things that I run across in my daily travels across the internet landscape.

Yes, I bill by the hour. No, clients are not billed for my time when I'm writing on the blog. I am so sorry to have to break your preconceived notion that I'm billing every hour of every day. I'm not. I am human. Most of the time.

THE OTHER BLOG.

Some things I learned today.

Jack taught me the following things today:

1. The lyrics are not "He's got the whole world in His hands," but instead "He's got the whole world in his pants."

2. I didn't really fly all the way to Scotland to play golf in '07, I just drove to Scottsdale.

3. Superman is the only person who plays in Scotland because he can fly there whenever he wants.

4. Jack can hit his little USA Kids Golf driver 50 yards... with no formal lessons to date.

5. Cousin Ethan plays on a golf course in Tucson where they use only sticks and rocks.

Potty-training update: If potty-training had an economic equivalent, we're in stagflation: Potty-training progress is stagnated and my frustration with the issue is inflating.*

Sam is great. He turned 1 in late July. He points at you and waves to say "hi" and "bye." Then he sees something he can eat, his eyes grow huge, and he points directly at it, grunt-yelling until you give it to him. He crawls faster than people in Tucson drive and eats more than his brother does most of the time. He claps, usually when people on the TV clap, including golf claps. He loves to toss (roll) a ball back and forth with you as you sit on the ground. He is the "OMG! the cutest baby ever!" according to any female under the age of 17 behind you in line at the supermarket or behind the counter at Old Navy. {sarcasm} Yeah, I know, LOL @ OMG! {/sarcasm}

Lastly, this is quite possibly the greatest invention of the modern era. "Darn, that's pricey!" you are likely saying. Let me tell you that after a couple of those puppies, you will not care what it cost. The first time I saw it at a party, my eyes grew large, I pointed at it and then grunt-yelled until they gave me one. It was delish.

* I spent 10 minutes trying to decide if you can use two colons in this manner. I decided for it, and will let my fellow law school compatriots comment furiously in the negative, after having diligently solicited their grammar guides. After reading newspapers for the last few years, I've decided grammar in America is officially dead.

In Other News,

So we can't bribe, threaten or cajole Jack to use the toilet for #2, but oh sure, your robotic vacuum cleaner will. Life is just laughing its rear off at us right now.

Facebook is my Happy Place.

I'll admit it: I really dig Facebook. It probably has not generated one red cent of business for me, but it makes me feel good knowing that I can keep in touch with my close (and not so close, and some just people I barely know) friends.

In a rare but nonetheless free moment, I jumped on to see what people were up to and ran across a "note" written by a law school classmate and fellow Law Review slave, Sarah.  It's called "Mosaic of Me."  It is as follows:

---

Rules:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search (http://www.flickr.com/).

b. Using ONLY the first page, pick an image.

c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Mosaic Maker. Change rows to 3 and columns to 3 (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php).

d. Save the image and post it on this note.

If you're tagged, pass it on. And tag the person who tagged you.

The Questions:

1. What is your first name?

2. What is your favorite food?

3. What is your favorite color?

4. Favorite drink?

5. Dream vacation?

6. Favorite hobby?

7. What you want to be when you grow up?

8. What do you love the most in life?

9. One word to describe you?

Here's what I came up with (and yes I did follow the instructions):

So for the rest of you out there who blog, I invite you to go through the excercise. Heck, it beats writing original content any day.

[Answers: 1) TJ, 2) Sushi, 3) Blue, 4) Bud Light Lime, 5) Fishing Quietly, 6) Golf, 7) Marine Biologist, 8) My kids, 9) Tired.]

Zi6: Test Run. (Lesson learned)

High definition videos are huge.  Huge videos take forever to upload.  That little 10 second clip took 45 minutes to send to Blogger, and then another 30 some to "process" which means, "reduce quality."  So in other words, I spent one hour and 15 minutes in frustration so Blogger could take my beautiful 720p video and make it smaller.  A little counterproductive, don't you think?

I. Am. A. Cardinals. Fan.

I cannot express my feelings right now.  Expletives are about the only thing I'm left with now.  (I'll save you the stream of four-letter filth.)  [Deep breaths and pilates.]

I watched the game in detail.  Examined every play (HD-DVR provided it).  We matched the Steelers play-for-play.  We hit them in face.  We smashed them in the mouth.  (Darnell Dockett is my hero.)  We tipped passes, we stuffed runs, we sacked "Big Ben."  We ran the ball (better than usual) we threw the ball (as usual).  Fitz made the game winning play. We lost. 

What happened?  

My only answer: We met our match.  

9-and-7 doesn't define us.  The trips the the East coast were worthless, and useless.  Painful, but worthless.  Does the NFC suck? Hardly.  We fought until half-time.  A fluke play took us into half-time down 1o, but we had the lead with two and a half minutes left.  Why? Because we come from a terrible division?  No.  Because we belong here.  Because we have all the talent of New England with less than one tenth of the f***ing East-coast attitude.  We just want to play "beat your face in" football.  And I couldn't be happier about it.  

How many counted us out?  The worst team in the Playoffs?  We're in the f***ing Super Bowl.  Suck on it.  And we made those 30 second commercials worth the millions you spent on them  bankrupt America.  

I guess the last the word is:

Dear People of the United State of America with High Definition Television: You're welcome.  We made a game of that which you said was not to be.  We took a would-be blowout and made it a nail-biter.  We took a Steelers-Vikings snore-fest and made it the game of the century.  You can give us the respect we deserve now.  If you thought the Alzheimer's patient and the Z-Street Polk band at half time were was the highlight?  You were wrong.  We came to play.  We came to WIN.  And in the next five years, WE WILL.  

I've never been a football fan.  (My wife will attest to that fact.  If it was Sunday afternoon, I was watching golf on CBS.)  Two years ago, a good (nay, dear) friend took me to the Browns-Cardinals game.   I learned to hate Browns fans (they are IDIOTS).  He bought me a #7 jersey.  (Who? Oh, him.  Maybe someday he'll be worth the draft pick we spent/wasted on him.)  Ultimately, I humbled my University of Arizona pride and traded it to my father for a Tillman jersey.  Tillman embodies not only the legacy of a fallen warrior, but also the wounded pride of Arizona Cardinal Football.  And I support it, with all my heart. 

I was a skeptical football fan.  I am now a painted-face, season- ticket-holding, tail-gateing football fan.  

I. Am. Now. A. Cardinals. Fan.  And forever will be. 

Who wants a piece of me in Fantasy Football next year?  

BRING IT.

(and, oh yeah, F U Vegas.  They didn't cover the spread.  If you bet the AZ CARDINALS, YOU WON.)

SUCK IT TRABECK.