Pottytraining Diaries/Poopwatchgate: The Conclusion

Yep, that is what he's pointing at. It all came out yesterday, in a double header on the porcelain throne.

We'd given up hope. We'd tried logic. It failed. We'd tried peer pressure. That failed, too. We'd resulted to bribery. From the last diapered turd on Thursday morning until the ultimate splashdown, we'd promised Jack the world: New toys from Target, ice cream bars, M&M's, and, the coup de gras, Wii Sports Resort (I was rooting hard for this reason, alone.)

The wait seemed endless. Day after day we pestered him: "Don't you feel like you have to go poop?" The answer always the same. "Nope" he'd remark, "I'm fine." And he'd continue with his day.

Then, Sunday, the fourth day of Poopwatchgate, came. We were concerned about a blow-out. We worried that he might try to hold it in indefinitely and then his subconscious would betray him during the night. We contemplated suppositories (Sam had endured this fate in months past) to force the issue.

Sunday afternoon, I had resolved to make dinner and was perusing a cookbook generating ideas. Ashley noticed Jack had disappeared and had closed himself in the guest bath. Grunting ensued. Ashley claims she heard jack get off the toilet, pause and say, "YESSSSSSSSS." She believes he had to look to verify it for himself that he'd achieved his goal: using the toilet for its intended purpose.

Jack exploded out of the bathroom announcing the feat. Celebration ensued. I was sent to Costo. I ended up making an unintended journey through the Crip-town Rectum Mall when I learned Costco didn't carry the "Wii Motion Plus" accessory. Darn you COSTCO! [shakes fist angrily at Costco sign.]

I returned from my Costco-WalMart-GameStop-Back-To-Costco-All-While-Avoiding-Getting-Shot-Mugged-Or-Disemboweled-By-Not-Looking-Anyone-In-The-Eyes errand with the Wii game, and an over-sized bag of M&Ms (they measure this bag in pounds, not ounces, kids) [And some socks, a new golf shirt, a couple bottles of wine, and an 18 pack of Newcastle Brown Ale... Damn you Costco! [shakes fist at Costco sign again]] I learned that while I had been spelunking through Costo's caverns of colossal consumerism, Jack had added to the excitement with another deposit. He commented later that it was "really, really big" and that it looked like a "poop snake." Indeed.

We played Wii late into the night. Jack was beaming with pride. With the lone exception of returning home after the infrequent camping/hunting trip, I've never been more excited about the act of using the toilet.