The Potty Training Diaries - Week 1

Jack turned three on January 23rd.  For months, we've been telling him that he had to start peeing/pooping in the "potty" when he was three.  Since he is the master procrastinator, he repeatedly and readily agreed.

His third birthday came and he was given underwear for his birthday.  Hardly something to get excited about under normal circumstances (aside from the male-female exchange of "exciting" undergarments at the festival of love known as Valentines Day, of course) but Jack was fired up.  He instantly donned them and celebrated.  (I would provide a photo, but pedophiles make me sick and I will not subject my kids to their viewing.  So here's *half* a picture.)

He wore them for a solid seven minutes.  Then back to diapers, where he could urinate and defecate to his hearts content.  The potty, I think, is somewhat of an annoyance to him, a speed bump in his otherwise light-speed pace.  (Someday, he'll learn the benefit of a savored "pit stop" with proper reading material or "Bubble Breaker" cell phone game.)  

So we're only about five days into Week 1 of the Potty Training Excercise, but so far there's been only one accident.  Having donned the new undershorts, he was playing with playdough at the table, stood bolt upright on the chair, let the jet stream flow, and then remarked, "oh no, oh no, oh no!"  Luckily, the pee was contained on the chair and didn't find its way to the carpet.  And, thankfully, so far no "#2" incidents.  

Jack Turns Three!!!

It was three years ago to this day that two medical residents extracted my eldest son from Ashley's abdomen using scalpels and anesthetic, as they haphazardly discussed their recent purchase of "show horses."  

True story.  I was there.  

Happy birthday, Jackson.

Jackanese Update

"Boll-ey Ball" - Volleyball

Raspberries

When Sam gets tired, he blows raspberries.  Why? Who knows.

Best Line of the Week

Jack's birthday party was recently announced. The "theme" of Jack's party (to the extent a three year old can dictate the thematic nature of his own celebrations) is "Cars the Movie." In keeping with the "theme," the invitations prominently featured Cars the Movie star Lightning McQueen, the star of many an adolescents wonderment.

Today, I received an email from a good friend inquiring about the type of present that Jack would appreciate. It's the type of thoughtfulness and foresight that this particular friend exhibits frequently. Our friend first posed the question of whether they should bring "Cars the Movie"-related presents. Fair enough. He then added a small post script that brought me to tears.

Aside from being thoughtful and organized, this guy's really funny to boot. I love to laugh and love to make other people laugh, so I relish good one liners, and this little gem cannot go unrepeated. After asking about the type of present, my esteemed colleague went on to describe how his son, one of Jack's good buddies and frequent playmate, reacted to learning that Jack was having the Disney/Pixar(r) animated movie themed fiesta:

"By the way, you should have seen [his] reaction when we showed him the invite and told him that he was going to Jack's Cars the Movie birthday party. It was like inviting a frat boy to free lap dance night."

Christmas Photo Retrospective

This year, one of Jack's multiple gifts from his doting (spoiling?) grandparents was a Fisher Price digital camera.  (Effectively, it's the same camera you have in your three-year old cell phone but packaged in about three pounds of plastic and Styrofoam so he can send it sailing out the car window, retrieve it, and keep taking photos.  At least that's what the packaging would lead you to believe.)  

He's always been interested in our digital camera and always wants to see photos of himself and Sam after we take them.  After sifting through the mounds of items that had been purchased for him (an exact duplicate of the mound of items that had been purchased for Ethan, his cousin 6 months the elder), he quickly realized what he'd been given: the opportunity to express his artistic flair.  He quickly went to work, and thankfully, chronicled the Christmas holiday from start to finish with an eye for detail that would make Ansel Adams roll over in his grave, vomit and roll over again, before returning to the afterlife to play shuffleboard with Jesus.

I'll save you from the first few shots (feet, the floor, the back half of the dog, etc.), but he quickly learned how to use the device. 

Ethan with his camera. There was a full roll of these so I'm sure they were giggling and having a grand ole' time taking photos of each other.

Streaking Christmas. This is a fine example of Jack exploring the metaphoric nature of otherwise static human imagery. In this photo we assume he's trying to convey the frailty of human life contrasted with the constant pursuit of happiness. Or he took a photo of the Christmas tree while shaking the camera. We're not sure which one it is, frankly.

His first attempt at realism. The juxtaposition of the stuffed squirrel alongside a rather ordinary sippy cup filled with freshly squeezed orange juice explores the depths of Jack's disdain with the excess of unchecked capitalism. Or our house is a mess because we just got home from 14+ hours of Christmas out of our house, dumped the contents of our car onto our dining room table and went to bed and Jack photographed it the next morning.

My aunt Jan fixing the turkey. We "oil fried" the turkey and it was pretty doggone good, I have to admit. I was skeptical, but it does cook a nice turkey, albeit a little greasy.

At this point of the day, we're getting a little goofy.  This is someone's rear.  Not much art in that.

More artistic expression.  Here, he captures Ethan waiving, but at the same time, streaks the lights for effect.  Well done, Master Ryan. 

Finally, his self portrait.  

The Return of Lisa

Somehow, spraying our house for bugs has gone undone for, oh, SIX YEARS.  As a result creepy crawlers find our house quite habitable and enjoy our company.  Jack discovered a new "Lisa" in one of our (wait for it) reusable lunch bags:

These photos were taken moments before we walked out the door to go visit some friends.  Lisa, Jack insisted, had to come with us.  She rode, seemingly content, on Jack's arm for the majority of the trip.  When we arrived, however, Lisa had vanished.  In other words, Lisa's now living in Ashley's car, somewhere.  Or, more likely, is deceased.  

R.I.P. Lisa #2.  

Evidence Collection, Refined

Having suffered with the limitations of a Canon point-and-shoot camera for many years, Ashley and I finally decided that Jack's ability to escape well-set photos must be addressed with the purchase of a competent digital SLR camera.

After exhaustive research and some dumb luck, I found the Canon EOS Rebel Xsi with two lenses, bag and chip at Costco for a decent value and pulled the trigger. (The purchase was not without some heart palpitations considering the price tag and the likelihood that Jack will probably find a way to stick his dirty fingers inside the camera and ruin it within a month's time.)

Since I have no patience, I took some preliminary shots:



[Click on them for the larger size.]

Editorial Redaction

Previously, I wrote that Sam was sleeping through the night on a regular basis. Since I do not wake up in the middle of the night when Ashley gets up, I had nothing to base that on except for my wife's reports that he had done so twice in a three-night stretch.

I most humbly come before you to say that it was short lived. It appears he's growing (I realize that comes as a shock to most) and so he's back to waking up between 3 and 4 AM to feed and then again at 6 to 7 AM. He is eating more and more and more frequently during the day, we've noticed. At first, I guessed he might be starting to teethe, but thankfully, for now, that's not the case, he's just hungry. I know how fussy I get between meals, so I have some empathy for the little tike.

GQ Boys