Jack finds Jesus.

As all parents know, kids have a knack for spewing forth humor without prior intention.  Toddlers' statements can be delivered rich with curiosity and sincerity, only to be answered by the adult audience with hearty guffaw.  Sometimes I think Jack says things just to see if he gets a reaction, and many times he does, but his most glorious statements are delivered with such gusto and genuine resolve that they simply boll me over.  

A few months ago, Jack delivered this gem: while exploring under the couch, he suddenly jumped up, stretched both arms heavenward and, eyes beaming, exclaimed, "I FOUND JESUS!" 

Now, while most neoconservative Bible-thumpers like ourselves hope for a day when our offspring make a personal faith discovery, Jack, at 2 and 1/2, was a bit young to be diving head first into the intricacies of our faith.  Obviously, that's what makes it funny.

Explaining the statement is much more mundane:  Jack received a cloth book which opens and closes with a zipper.  It's called "Walk With Jesus," and has a small (approximately 2.5 inches tall) stuffed fabric "Jesus" which has a patch of velcro on its back.  As you turn the pages, you velcro Jesus to the new page and join him in his "walk" through the book.  As with any small object in a toddler-occupied residence,  the stitched Savior frequently disappears.  So, during a period of free play, Jack was digging through the couch cushions, discovered the reclusive fabric deity and was ecstatic to return him to his journey.   

Update's a Comin'

Sorry for the delay in updates.  After getting squared away at home, life got busy.  And since my wife thinks blogging is some type of drunken Norwegian dance, I'm your communications officer. I'll try to get something together and up in the next couple of days.

Sam at Home: Week One

Today, Sam is one month old. Can you believe it?

You've heard a lot about his time in the NICU, but since he's been home, it's been less of a drama than an intermission. There's lots to do around our house; we're even now still converting the office into Sam's room. I'm really going to miss my big corner desk.

He came home on a regimented 4 hour feeding schedule. We've tried to stick to that, even when he sleeps through the four hour period. Yes, be jealous: he's already a good sleeper (and I'm knocking on wood and hope he stays that way.) He went close to five hours last night and then pounded down his bottle. He's on a two pronged feeding regimen: breastfeeding (mostly at night) and bottles fortified with formula at the other feedings. He's alert and awake about 3-4 hours a day (best guess) and sleepy/asleep the rest of the time. He loves to be held and will conk out if you hold him for any length of time in the cradled position. He's got big, bright eyes and looks around regularly. I remember Jack's eyes took a few days to get accustomed and would go cross eyed and roll back from time to time, freaking us out. Sam doesn't seem to have that problem, but he was also 3 weeks along by the time he went home, unlike Jack who was home about 3 days later.

We've had lots of love and support over the past week. It comes in many forms: food, presents, visits, and calls, and we appreciate all of it VERY VERY MUCH. Thank you! Please don't hesitate to call but forgive us if you get the answering machine - we're playing man-on-man defense right now.

I would ask those that read this with any regularity to encourage Ashley to start posting to it. She checks her email nightly and I have told her that she'd save a bit of time by writing here and then answering specifics on her email, but she's all about personal communication. I'm like the Wizard of Oz: Short and hiding behind a curtain. Oh wait, I'm missing the Emerald Castle and flying monkeys. Note to self: (1) buy monkey; (2) teach it to fly.

--TJR

Jack has ALL the answers.

I took Friday and Monday off to help backstop Ashley while she adjusts to having Jack and Sam home together. Monday afternoon, Jack contracted a bout of "cabin fever" so we headed off to the Club to see if we could burn off some of his energy hitting some range balls (which I never mind, being a self-described "Range Monkey"). We arrived to find the Club totally empty, which was great except for the fact that Jack had no golf balls in his little bag. (We did find some range balls scattered about so we used those and he had a good time smacking them around and playing in the practice bunker.)

After about an hour, he was pretty red and I was drenched in sweat so we retreated to the clubhouse to get some water and rest a bit. We sat down on a bench that looks out over the practice green, the 18th green and the water fountain that sits next to 18 green. He plopped down (okay, he climbed up and scooted to the edge of the bench, but whatever, he's 2 and a half) and we had a nice little chat. It went something like this:

Me: So, are you going to be a good boy for mommy tomorrow.
Jack: (Nods in agreement, pauses) Why?
Me: Because Daddy has to go back to work tomorrow so you and Mom and Sam will be home alone all day.
Jack: Why?
Me: Because someone has to pay for all of this, pal.
Jack: Why?
Me: Because we have to pay for our house and the food we eat and all of your toys.
Jack: (thinks a moment, pauses, looks up at me with certainty in his eye and says,) Daddy, all you need is a box of dollars.
Me: (Chuckles) Oh yeah? That sounds good. Where do I find a box of dollars?
Jack: (Looks around. Points to the fountain) Daddy, there are pennies in the fountain.

Even a seasoned veteran (if I can call myself that after some six years now) of the adversarial system gets a little choked up to see that my progeny is starting to figure out how the world works and put things together.

I'm off to find that box of dollars.

--TJR

Jack Soundbites

Today Jack said, and I quote, "

"I drink the juice, but you see the problem is that the alligator comes into Grandma's house and I eat him."

I am not kidding.

August 5th Update

[An aside: I just realized that all of these are dated/time stamped so I don't need to date them, but alas...]

Here is Ashley's latest email with some pictures to boot!

"Today, Sam is 2 weeks old! While it's hard to believe it's already been 2 weeks, so much has happened, it's hard to remember what life was like before Sam! Since I last wrote, Sam has made so much progress! He was moved to the intermediate nursery, out of the NICU, last Wednesday. We like this room much better, as it's quieter and there's more natural sunlight. On Thursday, they started trying to feed him with the bottle, and he's been improving with that skill daily. He's taking about half of his feeds from the bottle, then getting the rest through his feeding tube. He weighs 4 lbs 6 oz now, so he's gaining weight steadily. Friday was a big day...they removed his IV and moved him out of the incubator and into an 'open bed.' It's been a good week...family has gotten to hold him for the first time and I spend at least an hour a day holding him....I know that won't happen once I have him home and Jack's around!!! We're getting anxious to bring him home, but they are still saying it could be 1-2 more weeks. Thanks again to all of you for your emails and phone calls. I'm sorry I have yet to respond to all of you personally...I will as I have time, I promise! Here are a couple of recent pictures for you all...
With love,
Ashley"

Quick Update August 1

I just heard from Ashley (I will be heading over after work today) and they have removed Sam's IV (yay! It was in his scalp and then his hand, but his little veins weren't cooperating so we're glad to have that out so he's not a pincushion any longer). He still has the NG tube in for feedings, BUT he took his first bottle yesterday and took a full feeding. He took another one today but he was pretty sleepy Ashley says so he only took about 1/2 of the full feeding. I get to try when I head over around 5:00 pm.

He's also been moved into a "big boy bed" (i.e. out of the plexiglas box and into an open-air bed that's not temperature controlled).

He's also up to 4 lbs, 5 oz.

This is good news because it means he's a) growing, b) learning how to bottle feed, and c) closer to coming home. It's that last part that we're really focused on!

-- TJR

Ashley's Update - 7/30/08

[This was sent via email; I have simply copy/pasted it into the blog.]

Hello Everyone!

Thank you so much for all of your thoughts, prayers, and encouraging words this past week....what an adventure it has been! We feel very blessed to have such and amazing group of people surrounding us with support, so please know how much that's meant to us!
Sam is doing very well...stronger every day. He's now breathing without any supplemental oxygen, so the nasal cannula has been removed. He's regulating his own temperature, so the heat has been turned off in his incubator. He had a short bout of jaundice, but only had to be under the bilirubin lights for 24 hours and his color now looks great. So now, he's learning how to eat! He's being fed through a tube in his nose and tolerating the feeds very well. They are increasing the amount of milk he gets every 12 hours, so if all goes well, he'll be taking full feeds in about 3 days. Once that happens, they should be able to remove the IV and start trying to feed him with a bottle. He has to do this well before he can come home. His doctor is still saying 2-3 more weeks. We are very anxious to bring him home, but don't want to rush things and want to make sure he's ready. We are now able to hold him each day and it's becoming easier to imagine bringing him home. He seems less fragile to me each time I visit. We have been so impressed with all of his doctors and nurses, which makes it a little easier to say goodbye to him each evening...

Here are some pictures, finally! Again, he still has his IV, which is currently in his scalp, but hopefully that will be gone in a few days and we can send out some pictures of him without so much 'equipment'!!!

Thanks again for all of your support! Keep those prayers coming....we want him to come home soon!

Love,
Ashley

Update as of 12:00pm 7/29/08

So just a quick post to say that he's doing well off heat and oxygen. Nurse told me today (at noonish) that he's maintaining his heat just fine and so he'll probably move to a "big boy bed" (i.e. NOT a Plexiglas box) soon. His stats are staying level and he's gaining weight. His low weight (all kiddos lose weight after being born) was 3 lbs 14 oz and he's already gained back a 1/2 oz which is a lot for a kiddo his size.

They are feeding him through a tube and he's getting increasingly larger feeds. He started at 5cc's went down to 3 (he didn't tolerate the first feeds well), then back up to 6. He eats every 3 hours (8-11-2-5) While I believed that he was going up each feeding, he goes up 3cc's every 12 hours. So he's at 12cc or so now and will go to 15cc in his next 12 hour cycle.

Dr. said that best estimate, based on his progress and her guess, is that he should be coming home in two (2) weeks.

I am going to visit him later today after work and will update if there is any change.

Also, as an example of all the cookie crumbling at once, our microwave went out. It's one of those "hood, over the range" type deals, so I'm searching to find a replacement. It's great fun. At least I get a new microwave out of the deal.

-- TJR

First post, revised.

Some have commented (thanks Kelly) that my first post was a little bit of a bummer. My apologies. So, for the benefit of those who have not yet read my mass email that went out last week, here it is (in italics, with udpate following). It's a little bit more upbeat and gives more details:

"As some of you may already know, we have received our second son, Samuel "Sam" Timothy Ryan, into this world a little earlier than expected. Sam was born at 1:12 pm yesterday, July 22nd. He was 32 weeks and 2 days along. Thankfully, he was 4 lbs 1 oz, 17 1/4 inches long, and scored a 9/9 Apgar score. We're used to early babies (Jack, too, was a premi at 36.5 weeks) but 32 weeks is a shocker and cause for some concern. Sam was born naturally, and I was able to watch and then cut the cord. Even if you think you're going to be queasy, I recommend it to any daddy-to-be. (My experience was more like being in a Monty Python skit, but that's not important right now).

Sam is currently in an incubator being monitored by the St. Joseph's NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). The incubator is standard operating procedure, and they tell us he's holding his temperature well, so that's not an issue. His breathing is being assisted with the use of a CPAP machine (which some grown ups use to help with sleep apnea - it forces air down into the lungs to help them expand when the individual inhales) and they are feeding him through an IV at this time. The Neonatologist is very reassuring and explains everything to us in detail. Ashley has more questions than I do, simply because of her training, knowledge and experience. All I want to know is "when do we get to hold him and take him home?" At this stage, his lungs were not fully developed so he struggles a bit to breath, but he's not on a machine that forces him to breath, so that's better than the curve. In a few days they will try to start him eating normally (i.e. through a bottle), but "normally" babies don't learn how to suck, swallow and breath in concert until 34 weeks. However, when they are born this early, they generally develop faster since they have to "adapt" to the new environment. The body has to produce a protein that makes the lungs elastic. They are stiff and sticky at this point, making it hard for Sam to talk normal breaths. Best case scenario is him heading home in 15 days, but 30 days would not be surprising to them.

Ashley is doing well. She is recovering much faster than she did with Jack (who was c-section) and is up and about her hospital room and already getting bored. Its a much different experience from what we had with Jack since Sam is about 150 yards, three sets of doors, and a three-minute hand scrub/wash away. The St. Joes NICU is one of the best, if not the best, in the state, so we are relieved to know he's in their care. The nurses have been spectacular and overall the experience has been amazing.

Thank you for all of your thoughts, energies and prayers. Keep them coming. Sam is going to need all the help he can get to develop and be ready to head home to hang out with his big brother, Jack.

How's Jack? He's fine, but you can see him putting the pieces together in his head and realizing he's not the king of the castle any more. When he saw Sam for the first time, he remarked: "Small feet" and "Is that mine?" As we speak, he's enjoying some TV time and plowing through some Kix. He and I are going to be spending a lot of quality time together in the next few weeks, I imagine. If you have a burning urge to hang out with him, let me know. He is a bundle of laughs at this age. Watching kids grow up is amazing, as many of you know."

Since that time, we've been able to hold him, and he's now off all forms of breathing assistance and as of last night they stopped heating his bed to see if he can make his own warmth. They don't want him burning calories to make heat, so they may have to turn it back on. We hope not, since every step forward and off machines is one closer to getting him home.

I worked all weekend on the "office-to-nursery" conversion. Some good friends were benefactors of our old computer and some other stuff that we finally had to part with (we're in therapy for our pack-rat nature) and we still have an entire closet to clean out. But I put up some blackout shades on the windows and curtains on the french doors that lead into the room. I felt pretty manly drilling into our brick walls. It almost inspires me to do some renovations on the house (like new tile floors and such) but my psychoses (fear of getting it wrong) hold me back. I know a couple of good counselors, however (my in-laws).

Otherwise, life seems to move along as normal. I'm back at work today (although taking a few moments to bang this out) and Ashley is running around doing her "nesting" thing while Sam is still at the hospital. Current estimates are still 15-30 days before we get to bring him home, although tomorrow will be one week in the NyICU, so I keep trying to trim days of the 15-30 estimate. It all depends on him maintaining body temp, gaining weight and learning how to eat through a bottle and then breastfeed. We're visiting at least once a day, usually more, and the nursing staff has been amazing. They are very attentive and address any questions we have. They really seem to enjoy taking care of him, which makes life just that much easier for us, knowing he's in caring, capable hands. I would trade our hospital for one of the "spa-spitals" out in North Scottsdale any day of the week. With that said, had it been an uncomplicated, full term delivery, I'd rather have the jacuzzi tub, massages and comfy "partner" bed. [Footnote: Partner is the new politically correct term for the "other half" since "spouse/husband" or "father" aren't always correct any more. Next up: Mother and "Other."]

Again, thank you all for the thoughts, prayers, energies, flowers, gifts, food, hugs, calls, and volunteer time. We're blessed to have friends and family like you all.

I will update again soon. I might even con Ashley into using this as her journal so you can share in our progress. Either way, check back every couple of days to see what's new.

Yours,

TJR